When Will My Life Begin in Motherhood
How do you hold your children long enough, tight enough, to hold on to the moment and remember it forever in your heart? Why is it the bad things, hard things, tragic things are seared into forever, but the good happy days slip by unnoticed? The days filled with little things.
Like nursing her to sleep on one of those cozy all-day-rain-y days. And I kissed her fuzzy head – the hair that Ben noticed today. “Her hair is getting longer, did you see that?” My 7-month old babe. Mobile, opinionated, independent. Already. I pause as I carry the sleeping cherub upstairs. I just want to feel this moment for forever.
I don’t know what I would do if I had to leave them every day to go to work! I am so thankful! Some days I want to leave them …to get a little break! 😛 But then when they are sleeping and the house is calm {albeit for a short time}, the time they have awake seems so short before they are all grown. And gone, off to their new adventures on their own, like the seniors of this last spring. The Back-to-School days always get me thinking like this. As I wrote before, I’m cherishing the days before my kids are school age {I will cherish the school days when they are, too!}.
The Irony
The irony of it is, at the same time that I am wistfully wishing life didn’t have to change, I am impatiently waiting for my life to start. When days are filled with dishes, diaper changes, settling squabbles, laundry, a bit of cleaning, more dishes, picking up toys, time outside, and general monotonous life raising kids, it’s easy for us mothers to feel like Rapunzel. I really related well to this movie, for this and other reasons! 🙂
I tend to be a person who lives in the future. Somehow I have to get this in my head, that LIFE IS NOT WAITING TO START when we move into our own house, or when we have more kids, or when we start our own business somewhere. I can remember back to when I thought my REAL LIFE would begin when I graduated high school/college, when I got married, when we had a kid. Oh hey, that’s the life I’m living! Life is happening. Life is NOW! The days are going by. The years are going by. We have this moment. Savor it, because whether you like it or not, THIS is the town your kids are growing up in, THIS is the work routine you have (for now), THIS is what you have to make the memories that you will look back on and treasure – so MAKE THEM! This is it; THIS is how your life is playing out.
Yes, I wanted to write this in all CAPS. Because I want to take you by the shoulders and shake you and make you wake up and get out of the zombie mode of going through the motions and shout, “LIVE!!!!” Breathe the air like it’s the last breath you’re going to take and tell someone about Jesus because He might come back tomorrow! And you do the same to me because I need to be reminded to hug my children tighter, to smile more often and enjoy even the hard, yucky, boring days.
~~ Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present. ~~
Lord, help me live in the present!
P.S. Feel inspired to be more intentional with your time? Or ready to start a new routine with the back-to-school season? The 14-day Make Over Your Mornings course – that I love – by a fellow mom is ON SALE tomorrow (Aug. 25) for only $10!!! This will be the lowest price for the rest of 2015! You can get it HERE or by clicking on the button below. 🙂 (afflink) If you’re not sure if it’s for you, you can still get Day 1 FREE until the sale ends! Just check it out!
