High Risk - my story / February 25, 2015

Maple’s Birth Story

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling FINE. Great, in fact, after a long uninterrupted sleep! Feeling great… and very much not in labor.

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All day Saturday and all day Sunday I was having contractions every 7 to 10 minutes. We went to church and hung out with friends despite the sometimes uncomfortable annoyance of regular contractions. I figured I might as well be sitting in church timing them because they didn’t seem to be progressing into anything. So sit in church I did, with my handy timer app on my smartphone. 😛 Late Sunday night however, they were starting to hurt more and coming every 3 minutes or so and lasting a minute. We called the midwives and Melissa (my mother-in-law) at midnight. In between contractions I was calmly setting up and lighting candles and getting the last minute things set out and ready. I was 38 weeks + 3 days. After awful pelvic pain the whole last week that made it so I could barely walk, I was ready for this baby to come OUT!

Diane (midwife), Eileen (assistant midwife), and Melissa arrived in plenty of time, something I was worried about since my first labor went relatively fast. I was dilated to 6cm and definitely in labor! I ate cereal and other food to keep my strength up and we chatted – in between managing contractions – as I labored. Ben slept some, and Eileen did too, and even I took a short nap in the wee hours of the morning, before waking from contractions. In the morning the contractions were less intense and farther apart. I would have NEVER guessed my labor would take so long! I was 7cm dilated. We sat around sleep-deprived and waited. And waited. I tried to do squats and stairs and MAKE THIS BABY COME. No luck. She was taking her good ol’ sweet time. Hey, I kind of didn’t blame her because who would want to leave their nice cozy spot to enter Minnesota’s frigid January world??? It was COLD. Too cold to go for a walk; that probably would have helped. So we sat. And waited. A little loopy feeling from lack of sleep. And we talked. And Eileen told us about her boyfriend and their plans, and how she was waiting too – to get engaged.

I felt terrible. Here I was, wasting three people’s time who all should have been at work. They were waiting on me. And I could not do anything to ‘hurry it up.’ They were all very patient; I was the one frustrated with myself. (Technically we were waiting on baby, but what good momma blames their baby?!) Labors that drag on without progressing are AWFUL!

One by one Melissa, Eileen and finally even Diane left. Diane had some prenatal check-ups to do in Marshall so we decided that Ben and I should go on a date to Walmart to go walking. Diane would be close by if anything happened. By this time contractions were back to every 7 to 10 minutes and not very intense at all. We left Ole with his grandparents and many aunts and uncles and for the first time in a couple months had an evening just the two of us. Going grocery shopping of all things! (I had wanted to do a baby moon, but the high risk pregnancy was not compatible with that, so this was as close as it got!) At 7 cm dilated I was walking up and down the aisles which did get the contractions to become harder. At nearly every contraction I would have to squat down and pretend to be “looking at” the items on the lower shelves, but I was really just trying to breathe and survive through it! When I couldn’t stand it anymore, we went for a late dinner at Applebees. Sitting down made everything calm down again! Ole was already sleeping at Sahlstrom’s so we were offered one beautiful night of sleep with no toddler waking up several times in the night and then waking for the day bright and early – well, not bright out yet – at 6am. Don’t get any ideas here… nothing else happened except sleep. Being up the whole night before and having contractions every 10 minutes for three days straight is EXHAUSTING! I was so sick of timing them I was ready to throw my phone through the window! This being-in-labor-but-not-in-labor was driving me crazy and I was DONE. No more timing contractions, no more thinking about it. For all we knew, I might still be pregnant for three more weeks!

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Tuesday morning

I was going to have a normal day. {Beware of having a normal day, because for the second time now, that’s been a labor sign… for me at least! You have been warned.} The midwives had gone home and Ben was back to work.

Ben’s diesel work van wouldn’t start because it was too cold, so he put the charger on the battery and we both hopped in our car. It was book work day over at the shop anyway and I was going to pick up Ole after he had spent the night.

My friends called to invite me to a play date, but they could come to my house so it would be more convenient for me (I’m not sure they knew I had been in and out of labor the past couple days; they were being considerate because of my high-risk restrictions which actually weren’t a factor anymore, yay!). I told them my house was currently a wreck because we had just been up all Sunday night and Monday in labor and stuff was strewn. I wasn’t going to stress about it and they were welcome – it would be a good distraction to get my mind off of the fact that I was, but now I wasn’t, in labor anymore! They joked that they hoped I was stressed about it because that might put me in labor! I told them that if they made me go into labor and have the baby that day, I’d be forever grateful to them. I guess I’d better be forever grateful to them. I collected Ole and grabbed breakfast and whirled out the door to be picked up by Katie. (Ben needed the car so he could come home after office work to get his service van.) Abby, Katie and I chatted while our boys played. They had even brought me a freezer meal – they had no idea the timing would be so perfect!

Katie had to leave at about 11:10 am. Soon after I noticed contractions seemed to be more frequent, but I didn’t really know since I wasn’t timing them anymore. {Day 4 of this every-10-minutes ridiculousness.} As I suspected the next one was five minutes, then four minutes apart… then something like seven. Very irregular. I was still trying to eat my breakfast, but was talking too much to get much eaten. In between contractions I would continue telling whatever story we were on. They were getting a bit more intense and then I had one that felt like pushing. My brain went into crazy freakout mode because I didn’t think I was dilated much anymore and IF this baby pushed her way out she would tear right through…! In between contractions it didn’t feel serious at all. Since they were still more frequent I figured I would go take a bath to calm everything down. After all, trying to speed up labor hadn’t worked, so either this would make me more comfortable or maybe work like reverse psychology! I calmly told Abby that I was headed upstairs (at 11:30) and thank you for watching the boys and feed Ole as many crackers as he likes because he hadn’t had his full breakfast yet either and I felt bad about him being hungry…

I thought Ben was over at the office still with Melissa doing book work, so I called Melissa at 11:31 asking them to come over figuring they’d both be there. I think I even told her no hurry, but my contractions were closer together; about 4 minutes apart. The plan was she would come assess the situation to help decide when to call the midwives since I did NOT want to cry wolf with another false alarm. Ben wasn’t there however; when she called him to see if they could ride the two miles together he was already half way home. If he hadn’t been, he would have missed it!

I have only a very faint recollection of Abby asking through the bathroom door if I was okay and if I needed any help. Apparently I said, “THE BABY IS COMING NOW!!!” This baby was coming and no one else was here, and I realized that I was going to deliver my own baby. I hadn’t even refreshed by reading the pamphlet What to do When Baby Arrives Before the Midwife? that Diane gave me. In my First Responder course three years ago we went over emergency childbirth. Oddly enough, I was the only one who was not scared to death to help someone deliver a baby. I just didn’t know it would be my own! I was planning to do a home water birth in the bathtub because it would take less time to fill and be easier to regulate temperature. There was barely an inch in the tub and I realized there wasn’t even going to be time for that. And I figured without anyone else there to help, it would probably be safer to not attempt a water birth with the risk that it wouldn’t be deep enough water in time. In that moment my biggest concern was that someone was watching Ole; I was SO THANKFUL I was not home alone and Abby was here to take care of him!

I didn’t even know if anyone was on the way yet, and it dawned on me that I hadn’t even called Ben and I could just imagine how he would give me grief for years to come because I was in labor and didn’t even call him! I would probably never live this down. But too late now, I was in no shape to call him because the contractions were just too much. All I could manage was to yell, “ABBY, CALL BEN!” And she said something back that was muffled and I wasn’t quite sure but it sounded questioning, so I repeated, “CALL BEN!!!”

So she called him and he was actually just right outside and he said, “I’m just going to put this battery back in and then I’ll be inside.” But Abby let him know he better come NOW because something about it being urgent.

When he rushed into the bathroom I said, “Call Diane! Call Eileen!” The contractions were like one long constant one now. No answer from Diane and Eileen said she’d be on her way in a hurry. Just as he hung up with Eileen the baby’s head crowned and my water broke. He said, “I think I’ll call her back to let her know your water just broke!…” But then realized it was too late. [Note: these are the correct steps for helping a baby be born… just in case you ever need to know!] 1.)I put counter pressure on the baby’s head with the palm of my hand and 2.) stretched the perineum to help prevent tearing. In that same contraction her head was born; I 3.) checked for the cord around her neck and 4.) helped her head do the 1/4 turn. Next contraction she was born and Ben (who had just enough time to take off his outer dirty work shirt and wash his hands) helped catch her! She gave a little cry right away so we knew she was ok! She was born at 11:42, about 10 minutes after I had excused myself from visiting with my friend and gone upstairs!

I sat back in shock – not literally, but emotionally couldn’t believe that. just. happened. Melissa ran in and with very wide eyes Ben and I said, “Meet her!” And then I realized she had hair! And it was DARK! God even gave me that special little wish!

One of the first things Ben said was, “We are NEVER going to Marshall again if you’re anywhere near your due date! You could have had a baby in Walmart!” 😛 Which is true. And I’m very glad that didn’t happen! God’s hand was evident in so many ways! If it wasn’t so cold, Ben’s van would have started. If Ben’s van had started, he would have gone straight to Tracy on a service call and wouldn’t have been on his way to stop by home to switch vehicles. If he had been in Tracy, he would have been too far away to make it for the birth. If he hadn’t already been half way home he would have missed it as well! Though we had plans for babysitters for Olaf, there wasn’t any time for that, so God had planned that my friend would be there! Poor Abby, I was a little concerned she’d be traumatized by this experience. {I mean, what are the odds that your friend is acting pretty normal and then just goes upstairs and has her baby??} Beware! A play date at my house might be more excitement than you bargained for! 😀

Newly engaged Eileen (now that’s a story too!) arrived to help deliver the placenta and do the mom and baby checks. Diane managed to escape from the birthday party being thrown for her (yes it was her birthday!) and arrived later in the day. We were happily settled in, enjoying our new baby girl… still in shock that it was over and she was here!

Maple Rose Sahlstrom

Born Tuesday, January 13, 2015 11:42am

6lbs. 7oz., 19.5in. long